这是一场写作老师之间的battle！

每一个雅思写作老师都是活在自己内心世界的rapper，对他们而言，battle一触即发。

今年内地考区考了这么一道题：

Some people argue that the fittest and strongest individuals and teams can achieve the greatest success in sports. But other people think the success in sports is much related to the mental attitude. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

我自认为是一个喜欢运动的人，看了这道题不写一下就感觉技痒。而且光写了还不行，我还要发给几个讲写作的同事。让他们见识一下我语言的功底和文字的力量。词为箭，乐为弓，唇舌天马行空!在各种得瑟的情况下，便有了下文。

Sports always seem to be an extremely common topic in people’s spare time, and in the meantime sports personalities are in the spotlight all the time. What people discuss most about sports is why some sportsmen or sports teams can finally win the championship.

开头段很“高级”，只做背景介绍。既不明确点题，也不表达立场。就是这么任性。

For one thing, some people tend to attribute the great victory of sports to athletes’ superexcellent physical condition, with which obviously those players can run faster, jump higher, and move more flexibly than others. Actually, it is only one of the very fundamental conditions for them to beat their opponents. While watching some games, we often hear some sports commentators say some sportsmen are wasting their talents. In most cases, this implies those who are physically superior than most of people in the world are doing something wrong in the match: they may misunderstand their coach’s tactics; they sometimes do not know when they need to pass the ball or shoot it. Thus, being only fittest and strongest is still far from achieving the greatest success.

主一段，针对题干中的第一个观点来写。由于前文没有点题，所以这段先表明题干中第一个观点，再由此展开。那些认为体格好就可以取得运动方面成就的人真的是很傻很天真。运动是讲究智商的，每一个伟大的球员都有过人的运动天赋。而这运动的天赋远不仅仅指的是跑得快和跳得高。他们对战术的理解，对比赛的阅读，对队友的信任，都是他人所不能及的。詹姆斯哈登在全联盟估计就是胡子最长，说到速度，臂展，弹跳他都不可能傲视群雄。但是本赛季，胡子哥全程开挂一路各种30+, 40+的数据引领全联盟。所以，题干中的第一个观点幼稚了。

For another, some others argue that the mental attitude is more significant for sportsmen since it can make them more focused while training. This is to say, their training might be more effective than others, whereby they are able to perform better in the game. In fact, to achieve better training effects, athletes should never only pay attention to their mental attitude, and meanwhile what they should concern themselves with is much more than that, for example, a scientific and reasonable training plan, some professional facilities, and a world-class coach. This can profoundly explain why in every summer many Chinese basketball players like to go to the USA for training.

主二段，自然要讨论题干中的第二个观点。这个精神状态被很多人认为是取得比赛省力的关键，很明显他们的想法也是蠢萌蠢萌的。这个精神状态无非指的就是训练更刻苦，比赛更专注。这的确重要，但是有太多因素比这更重要。“只要练不死，就要往死练”这口号在六七十年代备战奥运的时候没毛病。但是到了今天，就显得非常呵呵了。国家游泳队常年澳大利亚训练，CBA球员暑期各种美国短期。田径队短跑项目都开始在泳池里面训练了。这都说明科学的训练计划，高水平的教练，顶级的设施，一个比一个重要。光靠精神状态就想赢得比赛，估计只适合咱们国家的乒乓球队。毕竟张继科把眼睛睁开就可以冠军，张怡宁为了不打对手11比0，连发球都不会了。所以题干中的第二个观点，我是绝对不能同意。

In conclusion, to achieve the greatest success in sports is certainly not as easy as most people thought, and that is why very few persons can reach it. People with either of these standpoints mentioned above have a very restricted view on sports.

通过两个主段对题干两个观点分别进行了详尽的论述，所以结尾段的观点得出也比较自然，并且符合逻辑。对于运动的理解，题干中的两个观点都过于狭隘了。

来吧，开怼吧!

首先登场的是滑雪只玩单板的孙老师：

杨老师不愧是体育界最会教雅思的选手，对运动有着独特的见解。虽然我本人非常佛系，但是从这道题目的观点来分析，我完全同意杨老师的看法。体育的卓越成就，本来就不是由单一的因素决定的。身体强壮健康和取得伟大体育成就之间并不是必然的因果关系，同样，强大的意志力和坚韧的态度也不见得一定可以在比赛中获胜。

从我接触的一些户外体育运动来看，专业的运动训练是非常烧钱的，比如滑雪，山地自行车，光有个好身体+强大的意志力，也是呵呵。要想取得伟大的体育成就，伯乐般的教练、专业的装备、优质的器材、世界大赛级别的场地、合理的训练计划、科学的饮食和医疗后援这些都是非常关键的因素。所以从题目的正反方争论来看，确实是井底之蛙了。所以，题目中的两方views都可以怼。

接下来涮肉只吃“手切”的高老师：

杨老师的文章，一如既往的没有阅读在场感，文章语法结构过于复杂，冗长，不便于学生模仿，记忆。而且，body段落，二三段明显结构，文法差距比较大，这是对于文章整体平衡的一种破坏，不提倡。其中这句话.“this can profoundly explain why in every summer many Chinese basketball players like to go to the USA for training” 这种Sarcasm的写法，略显幼稚，感觉更像口语部分的交流。最后，全篇文章还算逻辑紧密，特别是结尾段提出好评，杨老师很好的论证了结尾的1000种写法。

对于高老师的批评，我回应一下。高老师说了三个点。首先，阅读在场感。其次，文章的平衡。最后，sarcasm写法很幼稚。我就是写个雅思大作文，这不是文学作品，我对于茅盾文学奖也没什么兴趣。你不能用评价舒庆春和周树人的标准来衡量。

上一篇:有什么建议给即将出国留学的学生？ 下一篇:英国留学，如何在众多申请中脱颖而出？